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Kerry Craig, Centre Head at the 夜色直播 Glasgow, has over 20 years' experience in cancer care. She shares her tips for supporting your partner when they've been diagnosed with cancer.

Cancer and its treatments affect lives in many ways, including personal relationships as those closest to a person with the diagnosis can experiencing similar distress.

No-one knows how resilient they will be when facing cancer. It鈥檚 natural to feel scared about what the future holds, and couples often try to protect each other from the emotional turmoil they鈥檙e experiencing.  

Stress levels can build up, as normal daily routines are turned upside down by appointments, tests and treatments.  You may be aware of roles changing - the person who is usually strong, may be having to rely on others more. 

Relationships can sometimes feel more like a carer/patient relationship than an equal partnership.

The effect of treatments and the cancer can also affect confidence levels, while tiredness and other side effects may mean that a physical, intimate relationship is less of a priority 鈥� particularly for the person with cancer.

This can sometimes lead to feelings of rejection and loss of sexual confidence. Whether it is you, or someone close to you, who has the cancer diagnosis 鈥� it鈥檚 likely that both of you experienced similar feelings on hearing the news. Many people feel shocked, scared, and concerned for each other.

With so much going on in your life, you may find that you or those closest to you, are feeling anxious, panicky or depressed. The feelings can be overwhelming, and it can help to talk about how you feel with your doctor and healthcare team.

If your relationship is struggling with the pressures of cancer and its treatments, seek support early. Visiting Maggie鈥檚 to speak to our expert cancer support specialists and psychologists or to join a support group can help you feel less alone. You could also join forums or contact other specialist organisations like .

Tips for coping when someone you love has cancer

• It鈥檚 good to talk. While it鈥檚 tempting to hide fears and concerns from each other, silence and withdrawal can be misunderstood.
• No-one likes to see someone they love in emotional pain, and it may feel easier to put on a positive front 鈥� rather than talk about what you鈥檙e both feeling. If you can鈥檛 face talking about things, admit that, so that your partner can respect your decision.
• Share problems. When you鈥檙e dealing with cancer, life still tends to throw additional worries. It might be financial concerns, work or retirement concerns, the day-to-day problems that normally you鈥檇 solve as a couple.
• Discussing your worries with each other can help start problem solving and ease stress. It may be that you need advice, information and support 鈥� benefits advice, anxieties about health and nutrition, questions about the future. A visit to a local Maggie鈥檚 centre can help you prioritise your concerns and help you both feel back in control, when things feel difficult.
• Look out for signs of communication breakdown. It might be that you find you鈥檙e both snappy with each other, being critical, saying hurtful things, or sitting in hostility and silence. Acknowledge when tensions are high and recognise that is a symptom of the stress you鈥檙e both under.
• Try and have some normal, non-cancer time each day. It might be watching TV together, and having normal daily routines that feel familiar and comforting. Laughter and humour can help ease tension when it is shared together.
• It鈥檚 OK to grieve for the life pre-cancer. New routines may have temporarily or permanently entered your lives. While you both look forward to a time when cancer is behind you, there may be days when you miss the way things were before. It makes sense to talk about this, and share any sadness about the changes you鈥檙e experiencing.
• Find support. Living with cancer can bring stresses and strains that test the most resilient relationship. Tensions can mount, and you may find you鈥檙e feeling guilt, anger, frustration and hurt. If the situation is building up, you may need additional support to help you deal with the emotional impact on your relationship.
• Talking things through with someone you don鈥檛 feel that you have to 鈥榩rotect鈥� can help. Reach out to specialist organisations, like Maggie鈥檚, for help and support. Maggie鈥檚 can help you to manage your feelings through talking to a professional who understands taking part in classes such as relaxation and stress management, meeting other people who understand, or simply taking time in the centre to gather your thoughts and recharge.
• Talk to those closest to you: children, family and friends are all part of your personal relationship network. Let them know what is going on, what they can do to help, and how best they can support you.

How Maggie鈥檚 helps

It鈥檚 hard watching somebody you care about go through something difficult, but you鈥檙e not alone.

If you鈥檙e supporting someone with cancer, you can come into one of our centres and ask us any practical questions you have, such as, 鈥淲hat are the different cancer treatments?鈥� or 鈥淲ho do I call if something goes wrong?鈥�.

• You can also speak to our cancer support specialists about the impact the situation is having on you.
  
• There are structured support courses and groups for friends and family members.
• You can even just come in when you鈥檙e taking somebody into hospital for their treatment.
• You don't have to speak to anybody, you can just have a cuppa and use the space to take a moment for yourself.

All these things will help you cope and remain a solid resource for the person you care about. Find your nearest 夜色直播 centre

Last review: Aug 2026 | Next review: Aug 2029