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By way of background, I have just turned 70, I’ve been married to the long-suffering Barbara for 46 years, and together we brought up two daughters, Sarah and Rachel.

I retired from a 45-year career in the Civil Service in 2020 just as the country went into the first COVID lockdown. It wasn’t great timing.

Sadly, I was diagnosed with prostate cancer in early 2023. I had been pressing my GP for a prostate exam for some months, as I was becoming more and more concerned with the number of daily visits I was making to the toilet. A familiar story no doubt to many men.

Initial diagnosis and surgery

Eventually, I had a test which led to a biopsy and a telephone call from a consultant, who advised that I had prostate cancer. Following various consultations with specialists at the Christie in Manchester and Oldham, I decided to have my prostate removed.

I was told that removal meant I would retain the option for other treatments, chemo and radiotherapy as appropriate, if necessary, going forward. So I had the operation in September 2023, and I thought that I was then cancer free. Great!

Discovering my cancer had spread

Unfortunately, post op tests showed my PSA levels were actually increasing. A full body scan then revealed the cancer had already spread to various parts of my body, including my spine, my lymph nodes and my bones.

As you can imagine, this was a devastating day for myself and my family.

I was immediately put on hormone injections and the life extending drug Enzalutamide.

Finding out about Chris Hoy's diagnosis

I tried to continue as normal, but an incident when I was on holiday brought the seriousness of my illness home and really knocked me for six.

Barbara and I were enjoying a drink at a riverside cafe in Spain, when I checked the news and read that Sir Chris Hoy had gone public with his diagnosis.

Barbara and myself both broke down when we read him describe his cancer as stage 4. I wondered what the people on surrounding tables thought had happened!

Physical and mental health, and ҹɫֱ²¥

Physically, I am not doing too badly. I have responded well to treatment and am currently stable and enjoying all the activities I did 'BC' – Before Cancer.

Mentally, I’m not so good. Although I try to push it to the back of my mind, I have had some very bad days and some even worse nights.

This is where Maggie’s comes in.

It was my wife Barbara who suggested I visit Maggie’s in Oldham, specifically a Men’s Group, which meets every Tuesday.

From a mental health perspective, going to Maggie’s has helped me immensely. The group conversations are led by two fantastic cancer support specialists, Suzanne and Catherine. Although the men in the group come from completely different backgrounds and have a full variety of cancers, I have learnt a great deal.

Maggie’s has helped with many things - and not just on the practical side that a cancer diagnosis brings with it, such as benefit entitlements, dealing with the NHS, different hospitals, even different consultants, information on travel insurance, medications and their side effects.

Most importantly, Maggie’s has me helped with my mental outlook.

Maggie’s is somewhere anyone can open-up emotionally and talk honestly about anything that is concerning them without fear of embarrassment.

The attitude of the other men in the group has taught me to focus on the moment, and to live life to its fullest. Forget the past… it cannot be changed. In reality no one knows what tomorrow will bring as life is so unpredictable.

The Men’s Group at Maggie’s has taught me to live for today.

And I therefore do all the things I love. 

Living in the present and a new perspective

I have had a life-long love of art, and now rent my own studio where I escape to four or five times a week drawing and painting. I even have a solo exhibition planned for October.

I keep as fit as I can by playing squash and working out in the gym three or four times a week. My wife and I both love travelling, and Barbara is excellent at organising trips away, which always gives us something to look forward to.

In short, Maggie’s has been a life-saver for me. I now have a completely new perspective on my illness.

Giving back to ҹɫֱ²¥ through fundraising

The group of men at Maggie’s Oldham have become firm friends and we even organise trips out.

As I have something in common with Sir Chris Hoy, I suggested we raise funds for Maggie’s by taking part in his Tour de 4 cycling challenge this September. And now we have a team of five travelling to Glasgow for it, which we are all excited about.

All I have to do now is a borrow a bike and buy some padded shorts!

I know I’ve benefitted from coming to the men’s group, and I want to raise funds to give back so that other people can access this support at Maggie’s.

I know there is still lots to look forward to in life, and I really can’t thank Maggie’s enough!

I came across this quote which has been attributed to Marcus Aurelius, a Roman stoic philosopher (and also said by actor, Russell Crowe in the film Gladiator) which sums everything up for me:

“Death smiles at everyone... all we can do is smile back".

Become a Friend of ҹɫֱ²¥

Everyone with cancer deserves a place like Maggie’s. We want to continue to grow so that we can support everyone impacted by cancer in the UK.

It costs nothing to come into one of our centres - but it takes your kind donations to keep us free of charge for everyone living with cancer and their family and friends.

Become a Friend of ҹɫֱ²¥ by donating, fundraising for us or getting involved, and help Maggie’s to be here today, tomorrow and always.