Thursday 12 December 2019
Susan Long – Maggie's
When someone you know and care about dies from cancer, it can feel a huge loss, affecting you physically and emotionally.
The information on this page will help you to find out more about grief and bereavement, ways to help you cope practically and emotionally and how ҹɫֱ²¥ can help.
Grief
Grief is the intense mix of emotions, feelings and physical effects you may feel following the loss of someone deeply significant in your life.
Bereavement
Bereavement is the period during which you grieve, or a state of intense grief.
It’s a time of sorrow and yearning, missing the person you cared about and their place in your life.
It can be thought of as passing through several tasks or stages:
Colton shares how speaking to a ҹɫֱ²¥ psychologist helped him and his daughter cope with their grief when his wife died.
No two people grieve in the same way. The unique relationship you have had with the person who has died was known and felt by only you two.
The pattern of grief you experience will be made up of many things: your relationship with the person, any previous losses you may have experienced, your own personality and background.
There’s not really a right or wrong way to grieve. You may find that you are:
Grief seems to hit us in waves. You may feel sad, anxious, angry, guilty, yearning and an ache inside which feels physical.
Other physical effects can include crying, loss of appetite, poor sleep, aches and pains, tiredness, and loss of concentration.
There may be triggers for an intensity of grief feelings – seeing an old friend, a birthday or anniversary, familiar scents or sounds that remind you of your loss.
There seems to be no particular period of time for bereavement to be less painful.
Some experts suggest 18 months to two years as the time when grief begins to ease, and become less intrusive but everyone’s grief is different.
If you, or someone you care about is grieving, it can be hard to know what to do to get through this normal, yet intensely emotional time.
There's no quick or easy way through grief, but the following tips may help on the difficult days:
Whilst grief is normal, it's sometimes beyond anything we’ve felt before, and that can feel scary.
Sometimes you may need further support. For instance, if you're feeling:
You may not be aware that you’re not coping, but if your family and friends tell you they’re concerned for you then do look for support.
Talking to a professional can help. This could be through your GP, your nearest ҹɫֱ²¥ centre, , your place of worship, or perhaps locally at a hospice.
We're here, in our centres, on the phone and by email to talk about the challenges you're experiencing and for support and advice.
It might simply be a ‘listening ear’ or a one-to-one talk with one of our team.
We can also help you find a support group and recognise if you need further professional help.
Find your nearest ҹɫֱ²¥ for contact details.
Last review: Apr 2022 | Next review: Sep 2023
The Loss Foundation is a UK charity dedicated to providing bereavement support following the loss of a loved one to cancer or Covid-19.
From The Loss Foundation
Last reviewed: 03 November 2023
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