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As a parent, the news that your child has cancer can feel devastating, and life can feel as though it changes dramatically overnight. Family, friends and school colleagues will be affected too. 

This page has information for parents, family, friends and schools and other groups. You'll find useful links to organisations that can help, including ²Ñ²¹²µ²µ¾±±ð’s.

Feelings when your child has cancer

When a child is diagnosed with cancer, it can feel shocking and overwhelming.

If it is your child who is unwell, it can be helpful to prepare yourself for a mix of emotions.

Initially, it may feel as though there is too much to cope with. You are often given lots of information and facts at a time when everything feels in turmoil. This can mean you might struggle to take in what is happening.

The reactions you’re feeling are natural, and the initial impact will pass. Often, once a treatment plan is identified things may begin to feel a little calmer.

Experiencing anger, fear, guilt and feeling down are all common emotions that can feel overwhelming at times. The hospital specialists looking after your child understand the intense emotions you’re experiencing. They'll guide you through what is happening.

• There is lots of help and support available – from the hospital, social workers, counsellors and your GP. Other experts will be available, as and when needed. You can also speak to a cancer support specialist at your nearest ҹɫֱ²¥.

Coping with stress

Trying to cope with the stress of having a child with cancer takes its emotional toll.

Stress can present in many ways. You may find it difficult to eat, sleep or concentrate. Finding ways to work through the stress, so you can focus on your child, can help:

• Don’t be afraid to ask questions. Dealing with a cancer diagnosis often makes us feel out of control, by becoming more informed about your child’s cancer and their treatment you can take some of the control back.
  
• Be aware of the risks of the internet – check your information is from reliable sources. Your child’s medical team are always the best people to gather information from as they will have specific information related to your child and their individual diagnosis.
  
• Explain the situation you’re facing to family, friends, school and work. If you don’t feel able to do this yourself, delegate the task.  
• Try and get into you and your child’s new routine – which will be easier once your child has a treatment plan. This may include accepting support of others, to help your other children to feel safe and supported. 
• Family and friends often wish to rally round and this can be useful, but they may need guidance on specifics. Delegating specific jobs to those offering can be useful. Creating a specific WhatsApp group with your closest friends and family as a way to share important information and delegate useful tasks can prove helpful for some families.
  
• Lots of parents find it helpful to connect with other parents and families who are going through something similar. It is a unique experience and connecting to others who understand it from personal experience can make you feel less alone.
  
• Stress management strategies such as relaxation, breathing exercises and yoga can be helpful at relieving physical symptoms of stress. Regular exercise, where possible, is also a useful tool to reduce stress.
  

Looking after yourself and each other

Meeting your own needs, such as eating regularly and getting enough sleep, can become hard to do. It can be easy to feel guilty for taking time out to look after yourself. However, caring for your own needs can increase your resilience and help you to support your child.

It’s common to put your own feelings aside when you’re focused on supporting your child. However, being able to talk about how you feel, which may include expressing your fears as well as your hopes, can feel really important for lots of parents. This may be through counselling or psychological support, your child’s healthcare team, friends or contacting your nearest ²Ñ²¹²µ²µ¾±±ð’s centre. The most important thing is finding someone you feel comfortable with and trust. 

Relationships

It’s common that having an ill child can impact on your relationship. It can be hard to focus on each other when you’re caring for your child, and the practical demand of treatment can mean one of you is spending a significant amount of time in hospital with your child whilst the other is at home. Finding times to check in with one another can be helpful,  but also holding in your mind that it’s common to have less time for one another can help to remove any pressures you may feel. 

Grandparents, siblings and friends may also be struggling. Open and honest communication can help you to remain a close unit, whilst dealing with hospital trips and childcare.

Money worries

Money worries can be an additional stress for parents as it’s common for your child’s illness and treatment to interfere with your work. It’s important to be aware of the benefits available to you as a parent of a child with cancer. Your child’s healthcare team should be able to support you with this.

Your child's education

As a parent, it’s common to worry about your child’s education whilst they undertake cancer treatment. Creating good channels of communication with your child’s school is really important. It may be that your child will access hospital school during their treatment. Your child’s healthcare team will be able to guide you when it comes to questions about returning to school. 

• ²Ñ²¹²µ²µ¾±±ð’s can help you and your family cope with the stress of having a child with cancer. 
• Just come in to your nearest centre, and find out how you can be supported, including courses, workshops and a chance to talk one to one with someone. 
• There’s also practical and emotional support and information available. Whilst we don’t provide young children with cancer with specific support, we’re here for you, your family and other children. We can also signpost you to organisations who provide support for your child, such as  - a leading organisation that provides support to young people with cancer and their families.
  

When a friend's child has cancer

As a family member or friend of someone whose child has cancer, you may also be feeling shocked and upset. However, it’s likely you will also want to help. 

You may be concerned about your own children and how best to support them, especially if they’re close to the child with cancer.  

Your friend may be trying to cope with the worst news they’ve ever faced. Whilst they may appreciate your offers of help, they may not be able to think of how you can. Their focus and attention will be devoted to their child, understandably.

Be prepared to step in, and offer practical support. Here are some ideas of how to help:

• school lifts and care after school for other siblings
• the offer of a cooked meal
• hospital runs
• picking up medicines
• walking the dog

The seemingly small things can often be very helpful for the family.

If you have children, they may need support and have questions. If your child’s friend has cancer, they may worry they can catch it, or that their friend might die.

Explaining simply what is going on, and that children with cancer are looked after by medical experts who will be doing everything they can to help the child get better, can be supportive.

Listen to their worries, and help them keep in touch with their friend whilst in hospital. 

Sometimes, friends can feel helpless. Yet something as simple as being a listening ear, or just letting them know you’re thinking of them without a need for them to respond, can be just what they need.

If you're a teacher or group leader

When a child has cancer, it can affect the other children, teachers and staff. The child may not be attending school as regularly, or have a changed appearance.

When they are in school it is likely that their energy levels might be lower than usual. They may need special considerations regarding medications, breaks, food needs, etc. Schools may choose to write an Individual Healthcare Plan for the child which helps to set this out in writing.

On top of this, the child’s friends and peers may have questions and need support.

This can be a time to help educate the children about cancer, dispel myths and think of creative ways to help the children support their friend.

Meanwhile, if you’re supporting children at college or university, you may have students who have had cancer as a child. They may have specific post-cancer treatment needs.

Further information is available on our resources for teachers and group leaders page.

Last review: Apr 2026 | Next review: Apr 2029